We get it. Sometimes people really want those impressive exotic pets to satisfy their inner wild-side. But please, try not to bring them with you to Starbucks — we are stressed enough in the morning without your domesticated tiger.
Here are a few animals that (really) should not be put on a leash and brought into the concrete jungle — just leave them at home.
Iguanas
We are long past the reign of dinosaurs — the last remnants of the powerful dinos being crocodiles and alligators (still scary), birds (probably) and iguanas. While they may be cute to some, iguanas give off an air of cool calculation, as if they are always plotting something.
They seem to know what happened to their dinosaur ancestors and they want revenge. If you are going to keep iguanas as pets, please don’t bring them into public spaces. Keep them at home and watch their every move.
Unless, of course, you see them in public. Then feed them bananas. Iguanas love bananas — and this way they will learn to love humans as well. I don’t know who the iguanas blame for the dinosaurs going extinct, but i’d prefer if humans were on iguanas’ good sides.
Tigers
I, like any other critical thinker, know not to approach a lion in public. They have manes, which is an immediate giveaway that petting may not be the best approach.
Tigers, however, do not have manes. For this reason you should not bring an exotic pet tiger into the public. If there is no mane to show that they are dangerous, how are people to know that this 600-pound feline is unsafe to approach?
The lack of mane is probably an invaluable hunting mechanism, as gazelle and other prey probably approach the tiger thinking that it is friendly, only to be eaten shortly thereafter.
Humans, however, do not want to be eaten by a tiger. So to avoid any misunderstandings, leave the extra-large kitty at home, please.
Parrots
Birds are cool. I’m just gonna lay that down. But while they may be wonderful pets to have in one’s home, showing up to a party or outing with a parrot on your shoulder, all pirate-style, is taking it a bit too far.
The problem is not that parrots are too show-offy. The problem is that parrots can talk. And that can be a major problem if you are trying to make an impression at a party — you don’t want to be outshined by your own bird.
I have personally found that parrots are capable of bringing a sharp wit to social situations. While I like to think that I can keep up, I have had a parrot beat me in more than one debate. And their jokes are always funnier.
Just don’t bring parrots to parties.
Spiders
Why do you have a spider as a pet? Legitimate question. It should absolutely be common sense to not bring those things into public.
I get it — some people find spiders to be adorable. But you know who doesn’t find them adorable? 99.8 percent of the population (indisputable fact.) And do you know where those people like to hang out? Literally everywhere. Except for maybe a spider appreciation club. So please leave your spider in their cute little terrarium at home and go about your day.
Cats — Great Pets When Not On Leashed
Cat harnesses are an actual product that are actually sold in actual pet stores. Maybe some cats are friendly and like to be toted around in public. Most, in my experience, really do not. Most dogs you see on leashes are super friendly and want to be pet. Cats, on the other hand, loose most of their friendliness when they are taken out of the comfort of their homes and shoved into society.
I mean, just look at these sad cats on leashes:
